Viral Video: Guy Experiences Jaws In Real Life

This video terrifies me, the only sharks I am comfortable with are the vegetarian one from Finding Nemo, and the animatronic one in Jaws (is the shark called Jaws?) that eventually gets blown up by Roy Scheider after it eats his weird fisherman mate.

 

In fact, I am totally fine with all sharks in the entire Jaws collection, especially seeing as the animation gets less and less convincing as the collection goes on; Jaws 3 truly was a cinematic triumph in utter, wonderful, crap.

 

 

However, I do like the way this has prompted all sorts of shark-attack conspiracy theories. There are numerous claims that the video is fake; that the shark’s position jumps slightly to the right 59 seconds in and that were this genuine, the young man would be far more out of breath at the end of the video.

 

One theory claims that the markings on the shark suggest that footage of two different sharks were used to create this film, whilst another theory states that the lacklustre warning from the young man’s friends indicate a very staged set-up. 

 

Personally I think that if the video is fake, it is indeed the nonchalant reaction from his friends that is most telling. I’ve reacted more animatedly to Nutella on rollback than these lot did to the potential death of their friend.

 

Maybe he needs to think about making some new acquaintances, or maybe I need to calm down about Nutella. Either way, someone’s at fault here.

 

 

I have to admit that as terrifying and exciting as the video was, the title was somewhat misleading. I don’t know about the other 18 million viewers out there, but the title ‘Man Fights Off Great White Shark’ had me expecting at least a little bit of a tussle.

 

“Maybe he’ll poke it in the eye,” I thought, “Or punch it on the nose.” But no, what’s actually happened here is that the man swam away, the shark didn’t attack him whatsoever and therefore he claims he fought it off?

 

 

The comments generally just come down to picking sides between fake or genuine, but with the occasional added remark. For example, one commenter thinks the video is clearly real because this is simply “a normal day for an Australian.”

 

Whilst another commenter seems disappointed for reasons such as my own and demands that the word “fight” be taken out of the title since the shark “didn’t even throw a single punch.”

 

However my favourite comment of the week is from perhaps the king of overreactions who states, “Fake, I’m reporting you to the government about this, you have broken the law, you will be caught by next week, maybe even before…”

 

Please calm down, you’re giving me a headache.

 

Fake or genuine, what I am taking from this week’s viral video column is that however jobless, homeless and prospect-less we graduates are, at least we don’t have to fight with any sharks. Only landlords.