sex & relationships

7 tips for a healthier relationship

lovers, kettlemag, Isobelle Mallinson
Written by Isobelle Mallinson

With the honeymoon period over, relationships can enter the ‘comfortable’ stage where you sometimes struggle to remain happy together all the time and end up having pointless bickering arguments. Although a little tension is expected and healthy, there are ways to regain the happier aspects of your union and build upon your already healthy relationship. Here are my seven top tips:

1. Communication 

Talking and expressing your feelings is an essential part to any happy relationship, if you don’t let your partner know how you feel they will never be able to get it right. If you are bickering and not getting along improving communication will help you get back on track, make sure you explain why you are angry or upset and discuss how you can both help each other more. In times of stress, for example during exam or job hunting time periods, partners should be doubly tolerant and communicate with their partner so they understand their bad mood may not be all down to the relationship.

2. Compliments

People often assume compliments are just for the beginning of a relationships, the win over your date. In actual fact, compliments can help a relationship to become stronger. Saying your partner looks good on date night or telling them you like their new hairstyle will give anyone a confidence boost and they will know that you constantly find them attractive, not just at the beginning of a relationship. Receiving and giving compliments are both healthy relationship pursuits.

3. Make time for each other

Although I dislike the term ‘date night’ for its stereotypical connotations, making time just for each other is paramount in maintaining a healthy relationship. It’s easy when in a long term relationship to forget to spend time just as a couple, with educational, career and friendship commitments getting in the way. Taking a night or two out of the week to go for a meal or a cinema date will help you to focus your love and attention solely on each other for a change

4. Generosity

This sounds like an obvious one but little actions of generosity will always be welcomed by your partner. It’s easy to neglect your lover and be selfish sometimes, even when you don’t mean to. To avoid this, try to do something nice for your other half at least once every couple of days. No big statement is needed, just making them a cup of tea when they come in from work or ironing their favourite dress will help you both to see the kindness in each other and rekindle any lost sparks.

5. Empathy

One of the biggest turnoffs is selfishness and no one wants to love someone who cares more about themselves than they care about you. The best way to make your partner feel loved is to let them know that you understand how they are feeling as best as you can. Especially during times of difficulty it’s hard to reach out to someone you love and show them you understand if you don’t have empathy. The best way to look after a loved one when they need you is to imagine being in their position and think of how you want to be treated. It may sound pedestrian but telling your partner you understand is a way to make your relationship stronger.

6. Relax

Life can be stressful and feeling run down can mean you neglect your partner’s needs. Taking a day out of your busy schedule to relax with your partner can be invaluable. Choose a day when you are both free and after a lie in, hole up in your room with Netflix, cuddles and plenty of comfort food. This will allow you to spend time together just talking and relaxing, without any stressful factors coming into play. 

7. Remember

Remember why you are together! You are together for a reason, probably a good one! It’s important that you frequently tell your partner how much you love them and enjoy being with them. This will allow you both to express your feelings freely and you will realise together that you have something special, all relationships can be difficult but the strength is in how you make it work through the happy and the less than happy times.