sex & relationships

How to know when you’re taking PDAs too far

With the weather finally getting better it is time to come out of our winter hibernation.

With the weather finally getting better it is time to come out of our winter hibernation. In England this means spending as much time as possible in the sun even if it isn’t really that warm.

On a recent all day lounge in the park on an exceptionally sunny day I noticed that couples were taking this opportunity to be completely inappropriate in public. Now I’m not at all against a little PDA (public display of affection), but some things are probably better left for the bedroom. 
For some reason the beautiful weather makes people completely forget that they are not alone in the park and that no one else there wants their afternoon with an ice cream cone to be spoiled by having to see someone dry hump. 
So to clear things up for all the couples out there getting their picnics ready to head to the park for the day, I’ve created some guidelines as to what is acceptable and what frankly, no one else wants to see. 
Aww worthy
Most people don’t have a problem with the standard couple walking around clearly in love, other than a few cynical singletons. Holding hands and the occasional smooch is all well and good and mostly expected on a beautiful day in the park. There is also no reason not to bring a blanket and have a lie down together or a cuddle as long as it doesn’t resemble anything you would do in bed. Basically judge whatever you’re doing on this scale; if your parents accidently walked in and saw you doing this it would only be awkward for up to an hour. 
It is understandable that on a hot and sunny day you’d be hoping to get a tan. It is also understandable that this would probably require taking off a shirt or being in a bikini. However when this is combined with cuddling and even just slightly more passionate kissing it is on borderline of appropriateness. If it were necessary to take off any item of clothing then it would be best to tone down on the kissing and hugging in the meantime. Also any sort of massages/wrestling could come off a bit much so should be avoided whenever possible. 
Leave it in the bedroom
Spooning in the park is never, ever, ever acceptable under any circumstances. I’m not disagreeing that it isn’t a very comfortable position for sleeping, but that does not mean it is socially appropriate to do in public. This, along with anything resembling a sexual position, such as lying on top of one another, is taking things a bit far. Think of the innocent children! Along with those positions, any heavy petting or make out sessions similar to those you’d have on a night out should not happen in the park. If you’re that horny, then for all our sakes, just stay home.
Next time you’re headed to the park, or any public space for that matter, with your other half keep these guidelines in mind and you’ll keep the gagging around you to a minimum.
What guidance would you add to the list? Have your say in the comments section below, on Facebook or on Twitter.