I was going to try and make it through this article without admitting the (somewhat embarrassing) truth but I’m a strong believer in karma, so I’m not going to stand a chance of marryin
I was going to try and make it through this article without admitting the (somewhat embarrassing) truth but I’m a strong believer in karma, so I’m not going to stand a chance of marrying Harry Styles if I go slagging off him and his band mates. So, here goes.
I really like One Direction—like whatever.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past two years, you’ll know that the boy band is literally the biggest thing, well, ever. The band has over 14 million likes on Facebook, 10 million followers on Twitter, over 1 billion Google results in 0.38 seconds (thanks, fast internet!), and the young five piece was the first British act EVER to debut in the United States with a number one album.
Perhaps more impressive than all these things combined is the fact that newspapers (okay, maybe just trashy mags) all the way over here in Australia, newspapers have stopped captioning front cover photos of the curly one; “Harry Styles from One Direction”, instead expecting readers to recognise him by first name only. Even my mum knows who they are.
Whoa. That’s big. You may as well quit now, guys, because I don’t think it’s going to get much better than that.
However, the band is doing quite the opposite. To capitalise on their rapidly snowballing fame and success, 1D announced at the end of 2012 that they will soon be hitting the big screen: they’re releasing their own movie in August of this year.
Now, I’m NO fan of the ‘slashie’: show biz professionals who industry double dip to become actors/singers or supermodels/film directors or socialites/really artistic and innovative photographers (vomit) when their talent really only lies within one of those fields, if that. Except perhaps Hilary Duff in the Lizzie McGuire Movie (‘Hey Now’ is obviously a musical CLASSIC), no ‘slashie’ has ever fared well in my eyes. Paris Hilton – ‘Stars are Blind’? No thanks. LiLo wasn’t great in anything except The Parent Trap, let alone at singing; and Miley sure has got a voice on her, but she ain’t winning an Oscar anytime soon.
This mentality, plus my unjustified but acute hatred of 3D films (did I mention you have to view it wearing those stupid, oversized glasses?), immediately leads me to beg the question: 1D, WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS MOVIE? SURELY YOU HAVE ENOUGH MONEY ALREADY.
Seriously, though, Harry has a top of the line Range Rover and a £100,000 Audi R8. Even Regina George only had two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.
However, it seems that the film won’t be showcasing the tremendous (I imagine) acting talents of Niall, Zayn, Louis, Liam and Harry in the same fashion as their British boy band and girl band predecessors. Unlike fictional works such as The Beatles’ 1964 comedy, A Hard Day’s Night, or female counterparts Spice Girls’ 1997 flick, Spice World, One Direction are doing an all-access, behind-the-scenes documentary.
From the film’s title, This Is Us (seriously, they couldn’t come up with anything better?), it’s obvious that 1D is hoping to put media rumours and fan speculations to rest by showcasing their ‘real selves’ to the world with the part-concert, part-biopic flick.
No matter how good or bad it is, their fans are obviously going to love it, but perhaps they’re hoping to win over some current critics with the movie as well. I know it certainly worked for Justin Bieber. Many former haters of the Biebs’ walked out of the documentary Never Say Never happy; somewith an appreciation of his (actual) musical talent, some converted into fully-fledged Beliebers, but most just acknowledging that they could actually now tolerate him. And if it’s this angle that One Direction is going for, they’ve certainly got the right people on board.
The film is being directed by Morgan Spurlock, the guy behind the genius of Academy Award-nominated documentary Super Size Me. Now, if he can eat McDonald’s for breakfast, lunch and dinner for 30 days and still make me crave chicken McNuggets, I’m sure he can turn a couple of hardcore boy band sceptics into Directioners.
Either way, I know what the biggest box office hit of this summer is going to be. Moviegoers, take earplugs. There are going to be a LOT of screams.