Top ten stars of rock music who are truly ugly

This summer I will be attending Reading Festival which is typically indie and rock music.

This summer I will be attending Reading Festival which is typically indie and rock music. Looking at the line up, I couldn’t help but notice that ‘rock stars’ are notoriously ugly. Long dark hair, ripped clothes and lots of body piercings are the typical look of these singers and I myself am not one for having an indie boyfriend who is skinnier then me.

Now I have to admit my perfect type is tall and handsome or a typical TOWIE boy (apart from little Chris that is—also if any TOWIE boy is reading this, feel free to get in touch, especially Tom Pearce…) but I just can’t understand how some rock stars work the ‘ugly’ look. It may sound like I’m being harsh but really it’s just the truth and here are the top 10 ugliest rock stars.

(Yes, I have too much time on my hands.)

Pete Doherty
This is an obvious one unless greasy black hair, gaunt cheeks and dark circles around the eyes are your thing? (You go girl!) His skin, his fashion sense, him… it’s just revoltin,g and how on earth he bagged Kate Moss even though personally I’m not a fan, is beyond question. Pete, stop the drugs, put on some weight and get some sun boy. Oh yeah and the top hat you wear to make yourself look respectable, isn’t fooling anyone.

Iggy Pop
The blonde hair, permanently tanned skin, wearing little clothing and bright blue eyes may be a look for a TOWIE girl but no, this is not a good look for a rock star. Old enough to be your granddad- I’m sorry but Iggy needs to cut the hair, get a t-shirt and lose the St. Tropez bottle.

Steven Tyler
DO NOT BE MISTAKEN this is a man, and yes he looks more feminine than his girlfriend. The pout, brunette with blonde streaks, the hat, the jewellery and the feathers in the hair—no, no, no. I’m guessing his creepy smile is courtesy of a very rich plastic surgeon somewhere but please when you begin to look like your girlfriend, STOP.

Marilyn Manson
Since a very young child, I can say I have been scared of this ‘thing’ and when you Google his name the word ‘scary’ is one of the search results which well says it all really, doesn’t it? The white face paint, red lips, blue eye make-up and black scratches on his neck are similar to the Jigsaw character and I can’t help but wonder what he dresses up as on Halloween?

Shane Macgowan
When I first saw a picture of this looker, I thought it had been photo shopped but oh no he really does look like that. Lack of teeth, one earring, a hat (I realise this is a reoccurring fashion piece for these style icons) and notoriously holding a cigarette whilst being papped shouting at the camera. Sounds gorgeous doesn’t he? You know when you turn away and your granddad has his teeth out trying to scare you? Well Shane does unfortunately look like this all time. He is an amazing species and I can’t stop looking at his pictures. I suggest you Google now for some entertainment.

Adam Duritz
This should be an example to anyone that wants dreadlocks! They are not a good thing and you will end up looking like a sheep with overgrown wool. If you hadn’t realised, this is not a good look. No matter how smart you dress or how much you smile Adam, you look like a sheep. Get a short back and sides.

Joey Ramone
Now when I look at Joey, I can’t understand how he can even see out of his eyes as a result of a mound of thick, black hair which covers his eyes. Okay, okay I may be sounding like an 80 year old grandma but it’s just not practical and yes you’ve guessed it, it doesn’t look good. I’m not saying that all boys have to have short, cropped hair but come on long thick hair is not the way forward guys. Ripped jeans were also only acceptable in the 90’s for the likes of Atomic Kitten who were trying to be edgy and fun. Invest in some new trousers Joey.

Slash: IT IS OKAY to wear colours. You don’t have to wear black all the time. Black jeans, black shirts, black hats and oh yes a mound of black hair which needs cutting. The nose ring makes him look like a bull and I don’t believe anyone who says he is a style icon. No, the word tramp comes to mind.

When looking at this man, you don’t notice his greasy hair, creepy eyes, creepy poses or shadowed glasses…No, you notice the triangle shaped piece of hair on his chin. Now why did he wake up one morning and think ‘yeah that’s going to look good’… I mean most men go for a moustache (which looks like a ferret glued to your upper lip), some stubble (which only very few can pull off) or a full beard (which is very unhygienic, imagine all the fragments of food in it) but no Geddy thought yeah a triangle will work. Geddy, it doesn’t.

Ozzy Osbourne
This doesn’t really need explaining does it? It’s a wonder children don’t run away from him screaming in the street. His palid face, black ‘guy liner’ and yet again long black hair is truly terrifying. There is lots of reoccurring fashion styles in this rock genre. Why don’t they understand that if it doesn’t work for him, it’s not going to work for you?

What do you think? Who else would you add to this list? Have your say in the comments section below, on Facebook or on Twitter.

Photo: Harmony Gerber