sex & relationships

Some Do’s and Don’ts on how to properly flirt

Being a relatively new singleton after a tumultuous 2 year relationship, I’ll be the first to admit that my flirting skills have rather gone to the wayside.

Being a relatively new singleton after a tumultuous 2 year relationship, I’ll be the first to admit that my flirting skills have rather gone to the wayside. In fact, I usually tend to leave the flirting to the lucky guy who gets to chat me up (hah!). But let’s face it—many men don’t even need the invitation of my best ‘come hither’ eyes to try their luck these days. It tends to be the case that if you’re wearing a short enough skirt that just making basic eye contact will do the trick.

But I’m not here to go into the finer details of casual sexism. What if you’re going out on a proper grown up date? Or the man of your dreams just happens to wonder into your regular Tuesday night haunt?

Well, readers, I have had the pleasure of trying out many techniques (mostly copied from films) and from my experience it really is just luck of the draw (if your prey is even single).

So here are my basic do’s and don’ts of flirting: (I’m sorry if these don’t work, I am still single for a reason.)

DON’T select your prey in a place where their integrity could be questioned.
If your intentions are unfavourable, then a club may in fact be the best place to do this. But if you’re looking for boyfriend/girlfriend material, then a club wouldn’t be my first port of call.

DO dress in a way that reflects your interests and intentions.
If you’re in this for the long haul, put your breasts AWAY and think about how this will look. You want to tell him you’re interested but that you’re not just giving the goods away for free. I’m thinking a bodycon midi with cute ankle boots. Gives him a viewing of the property, but not the keys to the mansion if you catch my drift 😉

DON’T ask him a million and one questions.
When I get nervous, I tend to want to take the pressure off myself and let someone else do the talking. But this isn’t a job interview. And by the time you’ve asked him what play school he attended and discussed the finer details of his five year career plan, he’ll be out of the door quicker than you can say ‘raging sociopath.’

DO ask about his interests.
A great way to build on a relationship with someone is to find topical areas that you both enjoy and get excited about. If this topic just about stems to sex and doesn’t get much further, then at least you know where you stand. Find something you both like and conversation will stem from there. (NB never say you that or enjoy something when you really don’t. This has ended in me watching back to back episodes of Hollyoaks, being stranded in Essex and even buying an Xbox. Don’t do it.)

DON’T use social media as a stalking tool.
Easier said than done, but believe me, when you discover your new love interest is liking that girl with much better legs than you, oh, and is a medical student AND in the national rowing team, it HURTS. So don’t do it. Especially don’t use the ‘close friend’ tool on Facebook to watch his every move. That’s just creepy.

DO flirt with your eyes, and a smile doesn’t go amiss either.What guy can ignore a girl with bright eyes and a sweet smile? Sounds corny but it ticks a box on most men’s wish lists. After all, who doesn’t want an angel in the kitchen and a…well, you know the rest.

DON’T shy away from physical contact.
I’ll admit, I like my personal space and so the minute someone steps into my personal bubble, the walls go up and the shutters come down. But if you initiate this, maybe with a gentle arm push (‘oh you’re so funny!’) or a sincere hand pat (‘I totally understand what you mean…’) he’ll know you’re interested and it will give him the confidence to take the next step. But only when you want him to 😉

DO take falls with grace.
By this I mean, don’t be disheartened if things don’t work out. It’s better to have tried and failed than to not have tried at all. You can always use what you’ve learnt at the next opportunity. And let me tell you, there WILL always be another opportunity. Break out the Beyoncé and the bubbly, girls. If there’s anything I’ve learnt from dating and flirting—you’ve got to love your independent self before anyone else can!

What would you add to this list? Have your say on flirting in the comments section below, on Facebook or on Twitter.