sex & relationships

Skype sex – something to try or one to avoid?

Written by littlegoode

I don’t claim to be any kind of sex goddess, but I have had a crack at a few things.

I don’t claim to be any kind of sex goddess, but I have had a crack at a few things. When my relationship went from cosy, domesticated and sharing a room to long distance in the space of a few weeks, we both had to come up with some new strategies for coping with each other’s absence.

For him, it was easy anytime and virtually anywhere, but ladies, we all know that it’s a bit laborious, messy and much more time consuming for us. For us, Skype seemed to be the best way to stay connected.

Set it up right

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that it’s fun and easy right from the off – touching yourself in front of a webcam is just plain awkward, and it’s always going to be that way. That’s why you should only be prepared to do this with someone who you care about, trust, want to please, know well and vice versa! It’s important to make sure you lead up to doing this for the first time.

Yes, it seems a bit obvious and makes you sound a bit simple, especially when sending messages like ‘take off your shirt,’ but it’s essential for you both to be on the same page. Pick your day and time and get comfortable. Sometimes, it’s easier not to speak but just to type to each other and attach some cute emoticons.

Golden Rule: Never do or show anything that he wouldn’t be prepared to do or show to you. (Yes, body parts differ from guy to girl but no, that doesn’t mean yours carries any less weight than his.)

Let loose

Being on camera is a great way to feel more sensual and confident with yourself, although again I’m only encouraging this with a partner you already know in person. But in terms of long distance relationships, or just not being able to see each other for a while, it’s a stress free way to stay connected. Everyone in this situation knows we spend the week leading up to seeing our other halves analysing our bodies and crash dieting.

Sharing time together on Skype quickly takes away all of this fear. As important as it is to stay in control of the situation, it’s also important to feel free, unashamed and adventurous. Get into the mood, however gross that may sound. Remember, he’s doing it too, so make the atmosphere as comfortable and enjoyable as possible.

Hit the escape key

As much as I’m an advocate for Skype sex, this kind of thing is not for everyone, and you need to know when to stop. Maybe he’s not the one or you’re just not feeling it, but know that you always have the option to say stop, and he should respect that, just as he would if you were physically together and started feeling uncomfortable. Even without the presence of physical force, it can often feel a lot harder to resist online, and it’s easier to be coerced into things. I can’t stress enough how important it is to only participate in this with someone who respects and appreciates you!

What inhibitions?

Skype sex is another one of those adventures we’re all bound to consider undertaking at some point in our lives. Sure, it’s a bit awkward at first, and it’s never going to make up for the real thing, but it’s something special that keep two people connected, especially if they’re separated.

It’s not sleazy or cheap just because it’s on webcam. If you’re in the kind of relationship where you think this might be fun, go for it. After all, life’s too short not to try new things.

What do you think? Have your say in the comments section below.

Image: aaron.bihari