Having sex with an ex is an experience that is universally known to be a bad idea, but nevertheless, unless the relationship ended with one of you stabbing the other in the arm with a fork, it h
Having sex with an ex is an experience that is universally known to be a bad idea, but nevertheless, unless the relationship ended with one of you stabbing the other in the arm with a fork, it happens.
We’ve all been there. But have we all regretted it?
Sex with an ex never comes without complications, rather like no-strings-attached sex never comes without a metal cord. Things are never as simple as they seem and while sleeping with your ex may seem like a good idea at the time, it could have horrible repercussions. If the sex is terrible, you’ve just had really bad sex with someone you broke up with for a very good reason. If the sex is mind-blowingly fantastic, you run the risk of lying there thinking ‘Why did we break up again?’ as you replay the last twenty minutes in your head. Memories of the best part of your relationship come flooding back, along with the feelings and emotions that you thought you had buried so expertly.
Condoms should come with more warnings than they do, and should cater for different sexual scenarios. Sex with an Ex condoms would do well to feature a disclaimer: ‘WARNING. Sex with an ex may induce feelings of delirium, comfort and happiness. This should not be mistaken for true love.’
This is made all the worse if you aren’t really over your ex. Sex is the most intimate thing you can do with another person and it may feel as though you have reconnected, but you haven’t. As the wise Greg Brendhart, author of He’s Just Not That Into You, said, ‘It’s called a break up because it’s broken.’ Eventually, whether it takes hours or days, after a little clarity the crushing realisation that sex does not mend a shattered relationship will hit you, whether you want it to or not.
On the other hand, and there’s always another hand, it could be a really positive experience. The great thing about sleeping with an ex is that they already know everything there is to know about you and vice versa. In one sense, it means that there’s no pressure on the sex itself. They’ve already seen you in between waxes, they already know how you get after a few glasses of wine and they’ve already experienced that weird noise you make before you come. Sex with an ex can be like rereading your favourite book; familiar and comforting with no nasty surprises and the added knowledge that you know there’s going to be a happy ending. You know the book so well that you can skip past the boring bits and get right to the part when it starts to get exciting. Every crease on every page is familiar to you because you’ve read it everywhere – in bed, in the bath, that one time on the train, and let’s not forget the time you read it in your parent’s bedroom. Book metaphors aside, there are definitely positives to go along with the negative connotations of sleeping with your ex, even if it is a bit awkward between you after.
If you ever come across an opportunity to have sex with your ex, be it loneliness or the traditional booty call, it could be perfect transitional sex before moving on to your next relationship. But be warned, you might possibly, probably regret it.