Politicians. They are in office one day and out the next. And some of them just can’t stay away. Take Nigel Farage…please…somebody…any offers? No, fair enough. Even he was insinuating on May 8th that he wanted to spend time with his family and therefore was handing in his resignation as leader of UKIP; three days later they had obviously had enough of him.
Of course he had claimed all along he was off if he lost his seat in Thanet. Pretty noble one might think unless you know you have every intention of coming back. If we actually pull apart his resignation speech, did he actually resign or did we have the wool pulled over our bleary-election-night eyes?
“I intend to take the summer off”. Look at that word ‘intend’. Clever stuff. I intend to write the rest of my novel this afternoon. I know it’s not going to happen though – but I intend to.
“Not do much politics at all.” Can’t fault you there, Nige…a pint and a fag in the snug of some back street boozer was never really politics was it?
He also told us that he would take time to consider. “I will consider over the summer whether to do the job again or not.” Now, I know Britain is particularly poor at summer weather – and we often joke, after a couple of days of sunshine, that the UK has had its summer – but three days in May? No. That was not our summer and if I were you Nige, I’d take a tad longer to think about this.
There was a brilliant trending on twitter soon after of #Farageunresigns
That’s not a resignation Nige. It’s just called a ‘weekend’ #FarageUnresigns
— Kate Robbins (@KateRobbins) May 11, 2015
And this new definition of a long weekend became #DoingaFarage which was soon all over twitter whenever somebody did something that was likely to not last long.
Chuka Umunna's withdrawal from the leadership contest has been unanimously rejected by his mates, so he'll be unsteppingdown. #DoingAFarage
— Oonagh (@Okeating) May 15, 2015
Hissy fit with a hint of desperation
Of course there was a sign of desperation around his speech. You know when a high street store is in trouble, near to closing down and everything becomes a knock off price? Nigel hinted at this during his speech. He could sense that maybe he could win the party over with the offer of, “I want to make this a party you could join for £10. Not £30.” But rather like a psychic plastic gnome in a 99p shop that can predict the weather, you couldn’t really give it away- rather like his position. Oh he claimed to be a man of his word, standing down having failed to win his seat, but I rather think that was a bit of a hissy fit…not a resignation. And yes, so many politicians do say one thing and mean another, mentioning no names, Mr Farage. Indeed he has been “Occasionally let down by people who perhaps haven’t always said or done the right things.” Mmh…perhaps he should stop hanging around with them because it is beginning to rub off on him too. This UKIP Hokey Cokey resignation in, resignation out thing is not the right thing. Resign or don’t resign. Although a great deal of people would prefer the former.
Hours before what I shall loosely call the ‘resignation’ speech, he compared where he was five years ago with that of May 8th 2015. I wholeheartedly agree, an aeroplane crash was a good comparison. Okay the cliché is normally a car crash but it still compares well. The whole resignation business has proved somewhat damaging to the party – but I guess he has to be good for something.
So, did he resign or not? I looked up the word resign: to voluntarily leave a job, or office. To leave, go, hand in one’s notice, stand down, bow out.
But then I thought, ah maybe he thought he was REsignING. As in sign: to commit oneself to a period of employment.
So to resign, means he’s back in the job.
Like a well known figure from the Bible he was dead and gone …but in three days he rose again. Unlike Jesus who “suffered for our sins”, we are now suffering for Nigel’s. He’s back.
— Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) May 11, 2015
Whatever you meant Nigel, we’ve all had a good laugh about it. Well, once the anger at the thought of having you back in the public eye for another five years had died down. I wonder what you are promising for the next election night? I think I’ll pop down to the 99p shop and have a word with the psychic gnome. He’ll probably make more sense and keep his word.