Miley Cyrus: A tour definitely not educational

Yes that Miley Cyrus. The one we all know and love (to talk about at least).

Yes that Miley Cyrus. The one we all know and love (to talk about at least). The twerking, wrecking ball grinding, hammer licking singer, has claimed her new tour will be educational and artistic for children. Just let that sink in for a moment.

In an interview held by her sister Brandi, Miley told of her plans for her upcoming 2014 tour, Bangerz. Yes the new art and educational sensation is now named after a lewd word for breasts. A term we would usually hear from ‘lads’ trying to impress one another or shouted from the top of scaffolding in some wild imitation of a compliment.

For future reference the only person who can get away with using this term is Gok Wan. Then, and only then, used endearingly to bring amusement and good dress sense to the nation’s women. But I digress.

In the interview the 21 year old highlights reaching out to small towns where young people are not usually exposed to ‘this type’ of art.

Sounds to me like someone has been watching a certain ‘80s musical. Look out for a ‘Footloose’ riot in a town near you. 

If past experience if anything to go by, this will not be art in the traditional sense. Or any sense for that matter. A quick scroll through the former Disney star’s Twitter feed reveals sneak peeks of what to expect. The star posing topless with cannabis leaves littering the posters and dancers dressed as animals is, sadly to say, nothing out of the ordinary.

‘A lot more young’

The main focus however falls onto a giant hotdog the Wrecking Ball singer will ride, and undoubtedly do many other things to, while performing. Perhaps this explains the name of the tour at least? But with one photograph revealing what appears to be a dancer dressed as a joint while Miley, you guessed it, grinds behind it I wonder exactly what the singer recognises as art.

Making it a family affair Trish Cyrus wades in. The pop singer’s mum does make a fair point stating past bands were just as controversial as her daughter. Musicians have always pushed against the boundaries of what is considered the norm. Half naked women no longer shock and awe as they once did and so Miley’s wild antics have just taken this a step further.

In other news, the young star does not do herself any favours by giving Madonna the biggest back handed compliment of the year so far.

Stating: “I want to make all my content look high end, something that you would see on Madonna’s tour, but then just make it feel a lot more young.”

Anyone with a pair of eyes in their head can see how much work Madonna has done reinventing herself. Next time do not insinuate your role model is old and outdated, just FYI.

Confusingly the pop singer keeps contradicting herself. Wishing for people to look past the shock value “people want to talk about my clothes, what I’m going to be wearing, what I’m not going to be wearing.”

Then why do what you do?! Unwanted flashbacks of naked wrecking ball grinding, twerking and practically masturbating on stage comes to mind.

While not educational on art, Bangerz does promise to be a spectacular of one kind or another. Just don’t expect it on school tours at any time soon.

What do you think of Miley Cyrus’ new tour? Have your say in the comments section below.