sex & relationships

“I really like you… but you’re 10 years older.” Does age matter in a relationship?

Should age matter in a relationship?

After being in a relationship with my (at the time) boyfriend of 35, and myself (at the time) only being 21, we certainly raised a few concerns from those around us along the way. “Why do you want to go out with someone older?” and “What if he takes advantage?” being the two most popular questions. Although a bit hard for my family to comprehend my boyfriend’s age was NEVER an issue to me.

His age didn’t create realistic concerns in my opinions, instead just a whole heap of sexist stereotypes. Let’s not forget, ANYBODY, man or woman, of ANY age can take advantage. It’s not the age the makes the person cheat, lie or push the boundaries, it’s the character.

We were shopping one day, holding hands and a woman certainly didn’t feel the need to hide her emotions. She gave us a funny look although my boyfriend didn’t see. A look as if she was bemused and disapproving of the fact he was holding such a young woman’s hand? (To make matters worse I have quite a strong condition of baby face disease!) Was that not the same judgment and prejudice a gay couple may encounter? Remember, not every couple fits society’s “normal” cliché; a man and woman of a similar age who want children.

The way I saw it was I liked him and he liked me. We shared some interests, enjoyed each other’s company and had feelings for one other. There was no way I was going to throw that away just because he was older.

Age is JUST a number.

Imagine you met your soul mate. They cared for you, listened to your problems, supported you, encouraged you, made you laugh, brought you up when you were down, were you friend as well as you lover; perhaps one in a million.  Would YOU turn that down just because their birth date was a few too many years before or after yours?

What I want to know is when the cut-off point is? Let’s say someone thinks a fifteen year age gap is too much but a ten year one is fine. Where do they stand on thirteen years, or fourteen years and three hundred and sixty four days?   

I think a lot of society is going to have an issue with age in relationships for a while and I think some people will have an issue with it forever, but to me if you’re partner makes you happy that’s all that matters. After all, as Lewis Carroll once said, “In the end we only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have and the decisions we waited too long to make.” 


What are your thoughts on age gaps? What is the age gap between you and your partner? How much older/younger would you date? Let us know @KettleMag