sex & relationships

How to keep the spark in your relationship

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Written by Keturah Sesstein

When that exciting ‘honeymoon’ period ends, we all have a habit of questioning whether the relationship is really what we want. The spark goes, the excitement disappears and bad habits irritate you. It becomes just another dull relationship.

If given the chance, though, what comes next can be even more exhilarating. You learn more about each other, become safe with each other and an amazing love can develop. Like anything good though, relationships take work and commitment. So, I’ve put together some simple steps on the way to achieving this.

Dating

I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for nearly a year but we still date. This isn’t what you think, though. Going out on regular dates with your partner can help keep the excitement. The longer a relationship lasts, the more of a routine you fall into, which after a while becomes dull and boring. Taking your partner out to dinner or the cinema gives you both something to look forward to. It’s different to just staying in every evening watching T.V and it’s a sure way to remind you both of how much fun you have together.

Have fun

When that initial excitement fades, you can often think the relationship has become serious, which as some of you commitment phobes may know that’s an instant killer on anything good. Of course, getting serious comes in good time but don’t rush into anything you’re not ready for. Just because you’ve been with someone a number of months doesn’t mean you have to think about marriage. Having fun with each other keeps the relationship exciting and new. It lets you enjoy being with your partner without having to think too far ahead.

Make plans

That’s not to say you can’t make any plans though. Thinking about the future with your other half creates a new kind of excitement. It can be as far ahead as you would like it to be and it gives you both things to look forward to together. It may not create that new excitement that comes with a relationship, but nothing new lasts forever.

Acceptance

Whenever in a long term relationship, we all crave the feeling we had at the beginning. The butterflies in your tummy, the nervous giggles and the exciting new wave of emotion. As I have come to learn though it’s very hard to create that feeling once it goes. Accepting that over staying in denial will help overcome it. No one can live in the past, and in accepting your relationship has become more than just a fling, a different kind of spark is created.

Openness

When that honeymoon phase is over it’s easy to drift apart from your partner. Being open with each other can change that. The more you share with them, the closer you become, which makes your relationship blossom into something so much more.

Of course, every relationship is different. Different couples may have different ways of keeping that spark alive. But just because the initial excitement of the honeymoon stage is over does in no way mean your relationship is. It’s merely maturing. You may never get that new relationship feeling back, but a whole new feeling is made, love, and after all isn’t that what we all want.