student life

Are we forced to grow apart as we grow up?

students, youth, friends, life, Rob Lambert, Kettle Mag
Written by RobLambert34

Growing up is a difficult thing that, of course, everyone must go through. Something that never truly ends and has no reason to be complicated but inevitably have times of being exactly that. It is hard enough to do it yourself without the problem of having to keep everyone beside you along the way. Your family stand beside you so they have no way to let you go but your friends, however, are something much harder to keep a firm grasp of.

We start out our lives with either a pre-school or directly pushed into primary school. Some young 4 year olds sense the horrors of education from the very beginning and wish to escape the system as soon as it begins. Through this, you meet all the people who could become important in your mind throughout your life; they are the first people you’ve ever befriended by yourself.

Different scenarios

Then high school siphons out the people worth talking to from the ones not worth talking to. This sounds harsh but it is true. That makes it from being a fond two friends and a moderately known six other friends to being a mere two fond friends alone. High school has it’s changes and eventually means that on the other side of it, a whole five years later, you know more of how those two fond friends are and how they’ve grown into teenagers.

Likelihood could prove that now, the two fond friends have been part of a change of heart and two changes to one. One friend is kept, the other friend is gone due to a sense of a different feeling towards the frustratingly childish teenager standing in front of them compared to the young child they once befriended for making hilarious fart noises or wiping snot on another pupil’s head.

College was the next step and one that was taken with the one true friend you had at your side. You work through the two years, enjoying the fun and excitement of being able to freely study whatever topic you would most relish. Leaving is a shame but it feels as if you have a friend who you could be reliant on forever.

After some time of stubbornness against any more education, university rears it’s tempting but frightening head and it’s a choice you both decide is best for every part of your future. The only thing is, where you will go is based on what course suits you both best, which also means a different university in a totally different place.

The juggling act

Now, you feel as if you are an adult. You’re 21 years old, two years into university, you have everything set. You’ve learned to drive, you are in control of a car with help from your parents, you have a part-time job like most determined people your age, you go to university and are dealing with the commitments, and you have a long term girlfriend who looks set to be wife material in the not-so-distant future. You’re only problem is that through all of this personal development, some things have fell to the sidelines – including your life-long friend.

It’s tough trying to juggle things. It’s difficult trying to get things to work. You get to an age where your life is being decided, your future is in your own hands and you need to make big decisions. Your family are growing too, your brothers and sisters and getting married and having children and the health of your grandparents is becoming a serious concern. You end up juggling the relationship you have with your girlfriend or boyfriend, your family and your friends and you just want everyone to get on.

Conflicts between each specific group of people doesn’t help but sometimes it is hard to stay in close contact with friends of such closeness while trying to make them the friend of everyone new and old you interact with. It is not certain that you will fall out with those who were your sidekicks years earlier but it is something to be prepared for and something to hopefully not have to deal with. Part of growing up is hard for this and it doesn’t always get recognised or addressed.

The sad part is that when you look back on yourself as a lonely 4 year-old who managed to find a friend, you would hate to picture a future when you are without them. But sometimes, it’s what happens, sometimes it’s just space and you enjoy them all the more seeing them less, it doesn’t make it any less difficult though.

How havev your friendships changes over the years? Have your say in the comments section below.