As a student, there’s nothing like saving money. I regularly check sites like ‘gumtree’ and ‘freecycle’ for bargains.
As a student, there’s nothing like saving money. I regularly check sites like ‘gumtree’ and ‘freecycle’ for bargains. You can find all sorts of great stuff if you’re willing to shop around. There’s always someone who’s moving house or needs to get rid of things quickly. But when you’re buying a second-hand laptop I would advise caution. It’s best to take them to a technician or someone who knows about that sort of thing or you might end up with loads of viruses or a hard drive filled with this sort of rubbish:
From: Walter Peartree
Sent: 02 August 2012
To: Viagro
Subject: RE: Male enhancement- Free trial
Dear Viagro Corporation,
Thank you kindly for the generous offer of a free trial of your product. Thank you also for enquiring about my wife. Unfortunately her ‘screaming for mercy’ days are over since she was struck by a rogue mallet head, I only wish I could say the same about myself. As for your proposition, I must confess candidly, I clicked that link in a moment of weakness. And although the testimonials on your website are very convincing, in fact it’s hard to imagine so many self-confessed skeptics acting on such a harebrained notion as a miracle pill let alone praising the results so highly, I regretfully would like to take back my acceptance of your proposal.
Kind regards
Walter Peartree
From: Walter Peartree
Sent: 03 August 2012
To: Viagro
Subject: RE: Male enhancement- Free trial
Dear Viagro Corporation,
As I explained in my last communication, I am no longer interested in your product. I appreciate your interest in my bank details (you seem to know so much about me I’m surprised you don’t already have them) however the wife doesn’t think it a good idea to share them with such a new acquaintance. At least, that’s what it sounded like she said as I was changing her breathing and feeding tubes. As for the ‘before picture’ you requested, I have attached a photograph of myself in a strength contest at a carnival. As you can see, lack of firmness and libido are not two flaws I would list as my own. And please don’t read anything into the dissatisfied look on my wife’s, then beautiful, face. She had just that afternoon failed to knock a coconut off a stick even after yours truly forked out for fifteen extra balls. Please let this be the end to our repartee, lest you want me coming after you with a, still very dangerous, wooden handle.
Kind regards
Walter Peartree
From: Walter Peartree
Sent: 04 August 2012
To: Viagro
Subject: RE: Male enhancement- Free trial
Dear Viagro Corporation,
This morning I received: Five letters, four E-mails at home and at work, 3 tweets, 2 facebook messages- you can only imagine the look on my face when Mrs. Peartree suggested partridge for dinner via the chalk board round her neck. So I would like to make myself perfectly clear. I want you to know that I have absolutely no faith in your product, or the quack doctors you bribed to recommend it. I believe the only meat that has increased since you began your enterprise is the spam in my inbox. If I weren’t needed to help the little lady on and off the toilet every fifteen minutes, I would spend every waking hour hunting you down with the intent to kill. Please never contact me again.
Kind regards
Walter Peartree
From: Walter Peartree
Sent: 05 August 2012
To: Viagro
Subject: RE: Male enhancement- Free trial
Dear Viagro Corporation,
I’m so sorry I was a little out of sorts yesterday. I’ve had a bit of good fortune today that has cheered me up no end; naturally you’re the first person I’ve told. It seems that a Nigerian prince has taken a liking to me and deposited a large amount of money into a bank account that I didn’t even know I had. So I’m changing my name, selling all my worldly possessions (including this laptop) and taking a long trip to a sunny island whose name I’ve decided to omit from this E-mail. Please feel free to send me information about any offers or new developments you have, I won’t be reading them. Ironically I’ve also decided to leave my wife in search of something that would look more at home prancing on a beach than under a zoologist’s microscope and your product may now actually be of use to me. No matter, with the sort of dosh I’ve just fallen into they’ll flock like gulls to a chip. Have a nice life chump!
Kind regards
Mr X
From: Julio Gonzales
Sent: 07 August 2012
To: Walter Peartree
Subject: RE: My worldly possessions.
To the young man who purchased this laptop the other day.
If you’re reading this, please know I would like to buy it back; the venture I told you about went a tad awry. I would also be interested in the set of golf clubs and the comfy lounge chair. You may keep the wheelchair and oxygen tanks.
Kind regards
Julio Gonzales
