When it comes to discussing double standards and slut-shaming, it’s hard to not be hypocritical. We’re often quick to call someone a potentially harmful slur such as “slut”, even if we know we shouldn’t. I can’t pretend I’ve never thought of someone as a slut, and for someone who identifies as an intersectional feminist I find this both horrifying and sad, it’s a sort of subconscious thought that you can’t entirely help- but you can avoid it.
The reason why we’re subconsciously programmed to let the word “slut” cross our minds when we think of someone who has had multiple sexual partners is purely because of the stigma attached to the word.
The Wikipedia definition of Slut-Shaming is:
“A form of social stigma applied to people who are perceived to violate traditional expectations for sexual behaviours, commonly applied to women and girls”
But what exactly are ‘traditional expectations’ for sexual behaviours? And how can we prevent these double standards towards sexuality that are so prevalent within the media?
Sex and double standards
Double standards are the hypocritical views society has between men and women. For example, a man who sleeps with a lot of women is generally respected by his peers, whereas a woman can be scrutinized and the subject of negative attention from both women and men. In fact it seems that an entrirely different set of rules exist regarding men and women.
Slut-shaming may seem harmless, but by calling each other ‘sluts’ we’re perpetuating the already existing double standards towards women and sexuality within the media and sadly enough a lot of women fall victim to shaming others.
Slut-shaming isn’t just something aimed at women, many men, especially within the LGBT community, fall victim to slut-shaming and although not necessarily called “sluts” or “whores”- words that seem to be gendered towards women – other insults such as “having no self respect” are often thrown around. In fact, many men are quick to talk about wanting “a girl who respects herself” but what is the definition of someone who has self-respect? Self-respect has no correlation to sex; you can respect yourself and have multiple sexual partners.
The greater picture
Many people may not be personally bothered by the word ‘slut’ but it’s about the greater picture, and slut-shaming is much more than a few harmful words. Earlier this year a school banned girls from wearing skirts as it was distracting for the male teachers, something greeted which much backlash. Dress codes that are enforced on girls are often somewhat unfair and being instructed to cover up non-sexual body parts is another double standard.
Rape culture exists and slut shaming only furthers rape culture. The majority of victim blaming associated with rape will be greeted with “what was the victim wearing?”. The word victim is the important part of this sentence, the person is a victim and rape is never the victim’s fault.
There are plenty of examples out there to combat this approach of “don’t wear provocative clothing if you don’t want to be raped” such as “don’t own a house if you don’t want to be burgled.”
End slut-shaming & victim-blaming as intersecting features of sexual violence (unknown source). #EndVictimBlaming pic.twitter.com/ypiDsHlG
— SlutWalk (@SlutWalkTO) April 4, 2012
Revenge Porn
The culture of revenge porn is one that is shocking, and spreading quickly in the modern era. The trend of exposing sexually explicit videos/photos of an ex partner to embarrass them seems to be an alarming trend especially among young people. What’s more disappointing, is the response from a lot of women of “they shouldn’t have taken them” shaming those who are victims to revenge porn, instead of placing the blame on those who have leaked the images in the first place- a reaction that is different to when men have nude photos leaked.
A good example is Kim Kardashian, someone who may not seem like a shining feminist example. However, whether you love her or hate her, Kim, like many women, was the target of revenge porn. A private video was shared with the world, something that no one deserves. Anyone could fall victim to revenge porn, and we need to remember this before we shame others for leaked nude photos.
How can we stop it?
Many feminists have started movements aiming to combat slut shaming and the double standards in soceity to take back the word ‘slut’, such as the slut walk marches that occur around the world designed to celebrate female sexuality.
Image: Flickr/graciehagen
Slut-shaming happens in all ages, there’s no limit. But it’s important to try and tackle it in with teenagers as we will be raising the future generation. By throwing around words like “slut” in everyday conversation we’re setting a bad example for the generation who will follow in our footsteps.
The truth is, sex doesn’t define your self worth. We need to be empowered and encouraged to embrace sexuality, and the word needs to be reclaimed. We have a moral responsibility to protect those around us and stand up to slut-shaming, victim blaming and double standards. Our aim should be to break the patriarchy, and we’re not going to do that if we don’t take the word ‘slut’ out of our vocabulary.
What are you doing to combat slut shaming? Let us know in the comments below!
