Ho ho ho, the season of giving and good will is upon us. Couple that the annual month of overindulgence and overspending and what do we have folks? Christmas!
Ho ho ho, the season of giving and good will is upon us. Couple that the annual month of overindulgence and overspending and what do we have folks? Christmas!
And as we watch friends and relatives wrap up warm for the winter months, many of us are struck with Christmas jumper conundrum; to naff knit, or not?
As popularised by hipsters any time of the year, the Christmas jumper rears its ugly head particularly in the months of November and December, and refuses to leave again till the first flowers of spring from the thawing ground.
In its array of dazzlingly-horrific colours, ranging from putrid-food green to vomit brown, the Christmas jumper has evolved somewhat over the years. Stylists have cottoned on to the fact that some people enjoy accentuating their post-Christmas dinner muffin tops that pop up over the un-done waistline with a roll neck. And that dashing v-neck ? Why it just tantalises me with that sprig of chest-hair poking through!
One website, christmasjumper.co.uk markets itself as “just like granny used to make!” Much like the Sponsor a Granny Scheme as run by Nestlé Shredddies, with every jumper you buy, you are donating to the costs of a hip replacement for one eligible granny in the UK and Eire. (So much for the NHS, eh?) Although of course, the Christmas jumper phenomenon sweeping the nation could also be a cover up for an underground granny sweatshop ring.
And you must ask yourself: do you want to turn your winter evenings into that scene from Dumb and Dumber, where the yuppies are exchanging naff jokes and drinking Manzinilla from their Waterford crystal sets around a crackling fire?
Don’t take too long to snap out of your day dream and realise that brilliant set of breasts blinking their way towards you is actually your friend hitting you in the face with a frying pan, telling you to wise the fuck up and don’t get a Christmas jumper.
