sex & relationships

You’ve broken up in real life, but can you split up on facebook?

So…you’re in a wonderfully romantic relationship with the one you think is the love you’re your life.

So…you’re in a wonderfully romantic relationship with the one you think is the love you’re your life. You have all their friends and family on every social networking site going and are best mates with their best mate. Then suddenly, you find yourselves in a pit of dark, dooming despair when you decide to go your separate ways and be single…

It’s happened too many of us, and if not then it will happen to us at some point. Get the ice-cream, have a beer and get over it! But once you do the next problem you face is, and no it’s not ‘who gets the pad of paper you both put money to’, its whether you unfriend/unfollow their friends and family from Facebook/Twitter…Well, do you?

Now, let’s not be too hasty, there are reasons to not unfriend/unfollow them as much as there are reasons to unfriend/unfollow them! What if you and their friends get along? What if their family really likes you? What if you and their friends and family have all planned to go on Family Fortunes next week?! Okay, maybe not the last one but you get the drift.

Let’s start with reasons to keep them. Yes, it’s true, when you’re in a good relationship you should be friends with their friends as they are the ones who give the approval of you, and everyone wants approval, its vital. Friends have a major impact on the decisions we make in life and if their friend loves you then chances are they will to. Throughout the relationship you may have made friends with their friends and class them as your friends. Why should you unfriend/unfollow them? Also, it could be seen as polite to keep them if you and your partner ended on wonderfully wonderful terms!

However, a reason to cut all ties is that the ex may not like you still talking to them, or the mutual friend you both share may feel awkward talking to you (now being the ex) as the only reason you spoke was because you were with ‘their friend’. More reasons for you to move on? If you’re still talking/associating with people who are in their life it may be a sign you’re not ready to let go. But hey! I’m not a psychiatrist! Also, it could avoid potentially awkward situations, for instance, if the now mutual friend invites you both somewhere…It’s going to be a very cringey situation! Why put them in that predicament, just don’t give the mutual friend the option to invite you. Simples.

As for family that’s an entirely different kettle of fish! It’s an un-written, golden rule that if you’re taken to meet the family then you’re in a serious relationship (grab your wedding hat) If you’re not with your partner anymore then why keep the family on any kind of social network? Think of it like this, it may be seen to others that you still want your ex in your life, you want to be a part of the community you once shared. If you’re happy with that image of you being painted then yes, keep them. If not then don’t keep, delete! The family will more than likely understand, after all, you have broken up with their son/daughter, they don’t expect you to still associate with them.

However you may still want to keep them for the simple fact that you all still get along very nicely. Jennifer Aniston is said to still be speaking with Brad Pitt’s mum from time to time………

Okay, let’s get serious. The Ex. Thinking whether to keep the friends and family is all fine and dandy, but when this pops up in your head things will become stressful. There’s tonnes I could say on this topic, so much we’d literally be here for 423 days so I’ll do a speedy summary.

If you and your ex ended on good terms then no, there is absolutely no reason for you to unfriend/unfollow them. They have now become a friend so there’s no problem!

But, if you have ended and still have feelings for them, I’m not talking about little feelings I mean major heart crushing feelings then my advice to you is get rid of them. The best way to move on is to not speak to someone, not see them, not hear them, not witness the moment they get a new partner and change their relationship status from ‘Single’ to ‘In A Relationship’. Let’s be honest, that’s going to hurt! Why do that to yourself? Just cut all ties and move on, you’ll thank me later, I promise.

Another reason to unfriend/unfollow is if you do gain a brand spanking new partner and they have a problem with them on your social networking site. Your new partners feelings should undoubtably come before anyone else’s, so if they ask you nicely then it’s time to do so. It’s not being a pushover, it’s not being controlled, it’s just having respect for their feelings.

Finally, it all boils down to how you feel, what you think. Remembering the advice I’ve given will hopefully aid you in doing what you think is right. Some people may disagree with these opinions and that’s where individuality kicks in.

Everyone’s different, if you do what you think you feel strongest about, you’ll be fine.