sex & relationships

The reality and consequences of domestic violence

Written by charllbowles

After watching BBC Three’s shocking drama ‘Murdered by My Boyfriend’ based on a real story, it made me think about how common domestic violence actually is – and this realis

After watching BBC Three’s shocking drama ‘Murdered by My Boyfriend’ based on a real story, it made me think about how common domestic violence actually is – and this realisation is actually a scary thought.

Statistics show that one in four women, and one in six men experience domestic violence in their life time, and on top of that the average on a global scale is that 2 women a week are killed by a current or former male partner. Is there a way to decrease these numbers, or is making people aware of domestic violence through the media a way to prevent it from aggrandizing.

Murdered by My Boyfriend

Before watching this one-off drama about domestic violence I had heard very good reviews on it all over the social networks. Facebook status’ about how upsetting it was, and tweet’s detailing how surprised people are about how someone could abuse someone as much in a way to control their life and then end it within a burst of anger. But why is it surprising when it is actually extremely common all around the world? 

Official crime figures have revealed that over 1.1 million women and 720,000 men have been victims of some kind of domestic abuse in the past year. There is an annual survey of people’s experience of crime that shows 10% of the public think that it is ‘mostly or sometimes’ acceptable to hit or slap their partner in response to them having an affair. These statistics rise to 16 per cent for older teenagers.

Haven’t they ever heard of the saying ‘violence is not the answer’? I think that, of course, they will have so many negative emotions such as anger, jealousy and sadness, but that is no excuse to physically hurt the other person.

Back to the TV programme though, out of 5 stars I would definitely rate it a 5. It was powerful, emotional and makes you think about the horrible reality of domestic violence.

The 60-minute film begins with 17 year old Ashley (poignantly played by Georgina Campbell) going out to a party with her friends, just like what any other teenage girl would do at night. After meeting Reece (Royce Pierreson), they began an affectionate relationship up until she became pregnant with his child – after this it all progressively changed for the worse, and after 4 years of physical and emotional/mental abuse she was brutally murdered with her daughter in the next room.


Murdered by My Boyfriend was just a TV show, but based on a real life story – there are people being constant victims and becoming new victims of domestic violence every day. There is no excuse for being a perpetrator of domestic violence however there are some causes that can provoke it.

The causes of domestic violence vary from person to person such as traditional power relations, a sense of entitlement, stress, sexual jealousy, male authority, patriarchal traditions, belief systems in our society, being abused as a child, or possibly mental illness. So what can be done to stop domestic violence? It is said that the fact that it is seen as taboo is definitely part of the problem – society’s concept of a loving family life is disappearing as the year’s progress.

Verbal and physical violence is becoming more and more common, but how do we stop it? The media have promoted it through TV programmes such as Coronation Street in order to make people aware of domestic violence and to attempt to prevent it, but there are always going to be people who cannot control their anger to result in violent behaviour, or believe that males are more dominant than females.

People associate domestic violence with the male being the perpetrator and the female being the victim – but this is not always the case. Every domestic violence is different to the other – no factors are the same, and people will deal with it differently to how another person would. You may be someone that’s thinking ‘if I was ever a victim of domestic abuse I would just leave straight away’ but maybe there are more factors that contribute to the person staying.

Every situation is different, but what’s scary is that domestic abuse can, and does, result in homicide as well as suicide. But who do we blame? The perpetrator? Ourselves? Society? The increase of media and technology over the years has had an extreme impact with the deterioration of society.

Compare now with 50 years ago when technology and the media was at a minimum—domestic violence would have still happened but would have not been sensationalized as it would today where people can even find videos of a domestic violence situation.

What do you think? Have your say in the comments section below.